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The Sex Talk

This Sunday, I will need to delve into a subject that will be uncomfortable for some within a public setting. In 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8, the Apostle Paul addresses the topic of sexuality among the Thessalonian believers. And since I am under obligation to preach the whole counsel of God (Acts 20:27), I cannot avoid these particular verses just because they may cause discomfort to a few.

But there is always the question about the attendance of children in such services. People ask, ‘Are not some too young to hear sermons about sex?’ That’s a good question and it is one that needs to be carefully considered. The topic of sex is inevitable in the scriptures. One merely needs to look up the word for sexual immorality in a concordances and you will find dozens of references to the topic. When we read the Genesis account and other places in scripture such as the Song of Songs, we discover that sex between husband and wife was meant to be a gift from God in order to teach us about the fidelity Christ has for his bride the church. But it is also a powerful drive within humanity. Our Lord, Himself, had to address the subject on multiple occasions. And it is demonstrated by how many times the Apostle Paul had to speak to the issue in his letters. He has to address sexual temptation or deviation in his letters to Rome, Corinth, Galatia, Ephesus, Colossae, and Thessalonica. So if we want our children to read the entirety of scripture, it is impossible for them not to come across the topic of sex.

So what is a parent to do? This is why parents need to teach their children about God’s gift from an early age. As Christians, we need to teach our children about this important topic before the world does so. If we do not, then their curiosity will be peaked and they will seek their answers from some other source. If we are to train a child in the way that he or she will go (Proverbs 22:6), then the topic of our sexuality must be a part of the discussion.

To that end, let me offer you a resource that Lisa and I have discovered to be very helpful. John Younts, a Christian counselor, has written an excellent guide to aid parents who struggle to talk about sex with their children. It is called Everyday Talk about Sex and Marriage ( He builds upon the principles from his previous book, Everyday Talk: Talking Freely and Naturally about God with Your Children. A few of the case studies that he uses as examples can seem forced, but never-the-less he has done an outstanding job with helping parents overcome their fears in talking about a difficult study.

So what about this Sunday? Should you leave your children out of the service? I would commend you to have godly conversations with your kids about sex. Let them know that the pastor may talk about things they are unfamiliar with. Encourage them to ask questions from you. We must be careful here, because sex is a gift from God to be enjoyed in a married relationship. We do not want them to think that sex within its proper boundaries is bad. ‘Shushing’ them when they have legitimate questions will make them feel that way. Try to create an open environment that is secure enough to ask questions. Most of all, remind them (even if they don’t understand the physical side of sex), that God is our creator. And as such, he knows how we are to use our bodies better than anyone else. And since he loves us and wants the best for us, we should be obedient to him.